Day 33

Day 33 Monday April 11, 2011

  What I am about to write happened a couple of days ago, but has not left my thoughts...

    I saw a friend out and about and we stopped and talked and he wasn't his normal self and I asked if he wanted to grab a beer and he said yes. So we were talking and I asked where ----- (insert name) was, and he said, "Probably off f***ing someone." ...now I think you get what that word is.... and I wasn't shocked but I said, "Oh..."...yah no, that's all I had...nothing more.

  He said, "Don't act like you don't know."

  ME: "Oh I know...but what I don't understand is why you put up with it."

  Him: "We're gay and that's what gay guys do and I know he cares about me."

  Me: "uhhhhh NO...that's not what ALL gay guys do and have you told him it bothers you?"

  Him: "Yes"

  Me: "Are you retarded?"

  Him: "What?!??!"

  Me: "Sorry, let me rephrase that...You have told him it bothers you and that you don't want it to continue anymore?'

  Him: "Yes"

  Me: "and he is still doing it?"

  Him: "Yes"

  Me: "and you're still with him?'
  Him: "Yes"

  Me: "aaaaaaaand you're upset because why?"

  Him: " because I want this to stop and for him not to do this"

  Me: "but you have asked him to stop.. he won't... you tell him how it hurts you...and he continues... you are sad and  hurt...but he does it anyway........... Are you following me?

  Him: ***blank stare***

  Me: "For someone who is smart, I am shocked... Here's the deal... if he truly cared about you, this would all stop...but it hasn't so there is your answer...now what you choose to do with it is up to you... the good thing about all this is...it has nothing to do with you. He obviously has many issues to where he needs to feel constant validation thruogh the acceptance of others. He is a narcissist who finds his own value in hooking up with other people. His upbringing has obviously left some scars that have led him to this point and dictates his actions. You did not do any of this. The fact that he cannot keep it in his pants isn't about being gay or being a guy...it's about what he lacks in self confidence, self worth, and self acceptance. So congrats, he was fucked up before you showed up.... "

    Why do people stay in situations that make them so unhappy? I don't care how hot someone is, if they completely ignore my wishes and can't keep it in their pants, we are done. I can find someone just as, if not, more hotter and way more respectful... guys like that are a dime a dozen... I understand there is an attraction that goes beyond just physical, but they is like an addiction and addictions can be beaten...

  Here's a little video that made me laugh and is so true...and I have a bit of an obession with the Pussycat Dolls because they are so damn hot and I do want to sleep with them...even the ginger...