Day 25 Sunday April 3, 2011
WOOO HOOO!!! Day 25!! 25 is my lucky number and lucky for me, I had to get up early, do a few things, and then drive 4 hours home to SF. That was a very tiring experience. I got home and all I could do was just lay there. I was so drained and so tired. I did laundry, watched the Giants lose....again...no bueno, and laid on the couch. Even if I wanted to, I had no energy to do it. I am very happy about that.
Being away from SF made me realize some things.
1) Sometimes I just feel lost.
2) Sometimes I feel I am not me.
3) It is really lonely here in SF.
4) So many people here are just so fake and so wrapped up in who's buying what, or who's going where, or who's vacationing where, or who got invited to what (which sometimes people act so desperate to be invited to things, they look so pathetic), or who knows who.
I don't necessarily wonder why I feel I don't fit in...I know why I don't fit in some of the time and that is because none of those things mean anything to me. I don't what anyone has or what they drive or where they live or where they go...it is all so irrelevant. I don't relate well to people like that. Laying alone, I had a lot of time to think and tried to break this down. Going in the data bank of random thoughts, useless facts, and memories, I just can't help but wonder what I am doing here.
I've been questioning, will there ever be another person I connect with? Will there be someone I will have in my life? Lord knows I am will definitely be having sex, but will it mean anything?
AIDS Link:
Oh this is interesting....
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