Thursday March 17, 2011
I am almost to 10 days!!!! WOOO HOO!!! DOUBLE DIGITS!!! I don't think I have ever gone this long without anything....well I know for a fact I haven't! I feel like I am in a marathon of sorts. Today is really difficult! This is proving to be even more difficult than expected! I feel like I am about to drool! 35 days left!
I had an interesting conversation the other day with someone and also a similar one with another person yesterday. We spoke about dating and relationships and how people have different types of relationships. 1 comment came up a few times and that comment was..."Oh______ (insert name) is looking for a relationship/love." That strikes me as odd. How do you look for it? How do you ACTIVELY look for something that can't be seen? I mean I understand you date, you try to change your "hook up" habits, you look for qualities in people....but I feel if you have to change who you are to find it, it won't be successful because you found it under a false pretense of you who are.
Humor me on this... Think about it.... You change who you are and how you live your life to find someone to love. Then what? You're still the same person, all you did was change a few habits for the time being. Then say you find someone and then what? You think you'll be that way forever? I could never change who I am to find someone because I would be lying to them. They wouldn't know who I am. How can I expect someone to love me for my good and my bad if I am not 100% me? Why would I try to actively look for something that should (in my eyes) just happen organically? I know that relationships take a lot and I mean A LOT of work and if I were to find the right person, I am willing to put that time in....but shouldn't finding someone and love just happen? Shouldn't it just evolve? Why push for it? I think the beauty of it can be the story of how it came to be.
I know if it happens for me, I would like to look back and smile while having coffee with that person on the couch. I would like for us to be able to look at each other and say, "Damn...isn't it crazy how we got here? Isn't crazy how we met and where we are and what we've overcome?" I just don't want that stress of struggling to make another person like me or want me. Just let it happen....just let it be....
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ReplyDeleteWise words my friend. I think it's also equally important to be friends with the person. I mean despite the sex or attraction, you have to genuinely enjoy the other person. Their habits, their corny jokes, the way they act in public. If you find yourself rolling your eyes and saying "well duh!", then think of this; true everyone has idiosyncrasies that annoy from time to time, but if you don't even want to be around your sig other...then there is a problem. But here I am rambling on YOUR blog...sounds like I need to start one called " Blondie's Two Cents". ;)
ReplyDeleteSeriously though keep up the good work. I think this is incredibly cool what you are doing. Everyone needs a liitle journey of self-discovery..& NO not that kind of discovery!!